I am so frustrated with our situation. Here we are a year in to our relationship and he has to go back to KSA again! I know that his family is there and he has to renew  his visa. But his family does not even know about me! What if something happens to him? They would not even thin to tell me. What about his financial problems, and the problems with the country..and the hospital?! Will he be able to stay here as long as he wants to ? Are they going to stop  his salary? What if they do not renew his visa? If they do not what will I do? What will happen to our relationship? How can I deal with him being gone again? Should I wait for him? Do I want to do this every year? Would I feel better if his parents knew? Would I feel better if we were engaged? I don't understand how confused I am. Everything is so crazy. I mean I am just gonnna have to live the summer one day at a time.
 I am going to work out a lot, I have 2 classes and work. I need to graduate in DEC I cannot afford to break down. I need this summer to be productive. Ensha 'Allah everything goes well this summer. I love him so much but do I want to live this life...has anyone ever had a bicultural relationship with a non citizen? HELP

I just met with my personal trainer. I only have him for 5 sessions. I cannot believe how much my anxiety has changed since joining Bally's. It has dropped dramatically. I am sleeping more and better. I am struggling with my diet though. I have been cheating more and more lately. I have been feeling deprived. I really do want to feel happy with how I look though. Samah is helping by actually going to gym. I am soooo sore. But he said he would meet with me for free so yeah.